I am sure I left two avocados on top of the fridge when I went off to commune with Sleeping Beauty at 11.57pm last night. At one point during my dreamland sojourns I spotted them somewhere and felt immense pleasure as well as pride.
Now there is not one, not half, not even a quarter but none. None! Nada! Zilch! La shayy! Lutho! Hakuna... Onge kata matin modong'!
I stare at the cleanly carved out skins on the kitchen counter with a renewed sense of disbelief and regret. Then righteous indignation takes over and my blood begins to boil. How could they?
The two rascals are enjoying their sandwiches and bingeing on Mr. Bean like nothing just happened. "Hi mum. We already made ourselves breakfast," the younger one chimes. "Hope you slept well," the older one murmurs through his full mouth without even bothering to look up.
I started this gangsta shit and this is the thanks I get? I am balancing tears on my way back to my bedroom.They have no idea how upset I am. Not just yet.
I will report them to my Facebook friends and compose a long rant; one which I will make them read a few times and then demand that they summarize for today's English homework.We will not do this here.Not after we watched the documentaries on blood avocados on Netflix last year together.
Surely they must understand that this smooth, buttery delight is forcing even farmers in places as far as Tancítaro and Uruapan to arm themselves in order to fight the greedy cartels who now want it. They should have thought of sharing even a little now that I already taught them about the reverence of this fruit; a culinary goddess in its own right and a loyal escort for almost all meals.
Instead they woke up and ate them all.
What nonsense!
Meanwhile I was making piles of money for them in my sleep.
Avocado is what made my boy Kama break up with his girlfriend Keshie despite the fact that he had pursued her for years and made a fool of himself countless times just so that he could have her. He left her and never looked back even though she was fleshy in all the right places and her skin was the colour of Baileys.
He left her because she ate the last avocado before he came home from work yet he had hoped that they would eat it together with githeri that night.That level of selfishness was too much for him to bear.
Obviously I cannot leave my children like Kama did Keshie but there will definitely be a reckoning. This is one matter which I will not let slide as easy. We shall revisit!
Now there is not one, not half, not even a quarter but none. None! Nada! Zilch! La shayy! Lutho! Hakuna... Onge kata matin modong'!
I stare at the cleanly carved out skins on the kitchen counter with a renewed sense of disbelief and regret. Then righteous indignation takes over and my blood begins to boil. How could they?
The two rascals are enjoying their sandwiches and bingeing on Mr. Bean like nothing just happened. "Hi mum. We already made ourselves breakfast," the younger one chimes. "Hope you slept well," the older one murmurs through his full mouth without even bothering to look up.
I started this gangsta shit and this is the thanks I get? I am balancing tears on my way back to my bedroom.They have no idea how upset I am. Not just yet.
I will report them to my Facebook friends and compose a long rant; one which I will make them read a few times and then demand that they summarize for today's English homework.We will not do this here.Not after we watched the documentaries on blood avocados on Netflix last year together.
Surely they must understand that this smooth, buttery delight is forcing even farmers in places as far as Tancítaro and Uruapan to arm themselves in order to fight the greedy cartels who now want it. They should have thought of sharing even a little now that I already taught them about the reverence of this fruit; a culinary goddess in its own right and a loyal escort for almost all meals.
Instead they woke up and ate them all.
What nonsense!
Meanwhile I was making piles of money for them in my sleep.
Avocado is what made my boy Kama break up with his girlfriend Keshie despite the fact that he had pursued her for years and made a fool of himself countless times just so that he could have her. He left her and never looked back even though she was fleshy in all the right places and her skin was the colour of Baileys.
He left her because she ate the last avocado before he came home from work yet he had hoped that they would eat it together with githeri that night.That level of selfishness was too much for him to bear.
Obviously I cannot leave my children like Kama did Keshie but there will definitely be a reckoning. This is one matter which I will not let slide as easy. We shall revisit!
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